Be Soft

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride though the rest of the world may disagree, you still find the world a beautiful place.

Experimental

She was

a girl who knew how to be happy even when she was sad. And that's important you know.

So, so much on my mind lately. And being sick for so long certainly hasn't done anything to help me feel like I'm in control, or gaining control, of anything.

I'm twenty-three years old and I still feel like a twelve year old lost little girl coming face to face with human cruelty much of the time. Completely confused and terrified by the actions of other people and how the world works. Why are people deliberately cruel and unkind? Why do people go out of their way to say mean things or hurt other people? It completely and totally bewilders me. Frightens me and makes me so sad.

But don't misunderstand me. Lord only knows that I have quite the temper on me and can be quite mean when I am angry. This is something I am also coming to terms with lately and something that I MUST change about myself. It's probably my biggest flaw and I have quite a few.

I know that I am hypersensitive. More so than the "average" human being. Is that a strength or a weakness? Do I accept this or try to harden it, create spiritual callouses to protect myself?

 Am I really an "adult"? I don't feel like it at all. I'm just struggling through day by day to find my footing one step at a time. It's slow progress. Like climbing the endless set of stairs and never having a chance to catch my breath.

Ah, well. Enough of the psycho-analysis. For now I will retreat into a world of words and hopefully plan a photo shoot for next week with some wonderful, beautiful friends of mine who remind me of all the kindness and beauty there is in the world (even if some people seek to muddy it).

What a week!

Hello loves,

I am sorry for my prolonged absence over the past week. It turns out I didn't have the flu after all- but a bladder infection and a double kidney infection (a few times I literally thought I was dying) . I have spent the past five days in the hospital. I am SO happy to be home in my own bed today and it was even better to walk into my room to these beautiful flowers from my boyfriend.

I have another week of bed rest ordered by the doctor. Luckily I just ordered a bunch of new books from Amazon. Any movie or book suggestions for me to keep me from going stir crazy?

<3 Callie Lee

Unicorn Dreams

I woke up this morning from a nyquil induced stupor at about 6 o'clock. Super sick with the flu I saw on my iPhone Facebook that Unicorn Dream Magazine was sending out a preview issue to some lucky bloggers! So I dragged myself out of bed to my laptop and sent them an email and luckily enough they chose me!

Unicorn Dreams has been one of my favorite magazines for ages. The photos are always drop dead gorgeous and have a very characteristic style- very dreamy, but never overly stylized, ethereal, and wondrous. All the elements I try to capture in my own photos.

I have never been disappointed by an issue! Here are some of the photos this month! The issue will be released tomorrow so definitely check it out.

It definitely made my sick day a little better to have something so beautiful to look at! I especially love that last black and white.

Nobody's got any right to live but us

Zelda's letters to Scott Fitzgerald are some of the most passionate, moving, and emotional pieces of writing I have ever read. So beautiful and raw and personal. And even more tragic knowing the end of their story.

Zelda Fitzgerald to F. Scott Fitzgerald

1920

I look down and see you coming- and out of every haze and mist your darling rumpled trousers are hurrying to me- Without you, dearest dearest I couldn’t see or hear or feel or think- or love- I love you so and I’m never in all our lives going to let us be apart another night. It’s like begging for mercy of a storm or killing Beauty or growing old, without you. I want to kiss you so- and in the back where your dear hair starts and your chest- I love you- and I can’t tell you how much- To think that I’ll die without your knowing- Goofo, you’ve got to try to feel how much I do- how inanimate I am when you’re gone- I cant even hate these damnable people- Nobody’s got any right to live but us- and they’re dirtying up our world and I can’t hate them because I want you so- Come quick- Come Quick for me- I could never do without you if you hated me and were covered with sores like a leper if you ran away with another woman and starved me and beat me- I still would want you I know-

Lover, Lover, Darling,

Your Wife

I first came across this in a collection of love letters I found in my mother's library when I was a little girl. As I grew older, the few times I tried reading a letter here or there it bored me to death. It seemed dull. Dry. I had never been in love. Of course I dreamed of it, thought of it, obsessed over the idea as any growing adolescent girl does. 

It wasn't until last year, when I was 22, that I really picked up the book and became completely captivated by these words. My boyfriend, the true love of my life, was deployed in Afghanistan. An infantry Marine in the most dangerous part of the country for seven months. Many of those months in which we didn't have the ability to speak to each other at all. 

As I read the words Zelda wrote I found myself crying. I cried and read it over and over. The way her thoughts jumped around, not flitting but rather stabbing from one desperate and passionate thought to the other was the single most powerful exposition of love I had ever read. It wasn't the controlled passion of a poem or a sonnet (yawn) or the sweet melody of a long song. The love she had for Scott- raw, uncontainable, limitless, even dangerous- becomes alive, incarnate with each reading decades later. 

Someday I would love to see the actual letter. Zelda's handwriting, the stabs of ink from the fountain pen, scratches as she wrote hurriedly, desperately while she waited to see her true love again. 

Obsessions

I am in awe of this photo by Brooke Shaden entitled "The Depths of Girls Past."

It really resonates with how I am feeling in my life right now. Rebirth. Resurrection. Authentic self. Shedding of the past. That is what comes to mind when I view this photo. So powerful.

Loving you

is easy. I can do it in my sleep. I dream of you so often it's like you never leave.

Loving you

Had some fun shooting two of my beautiful friends today. 

Paradise...

...if there was a beach outside.

About Me

Today I realized that I have shared very little about myself thus far on my blog. It can be very hard for me to open up and let my guard down. I tend to be one of those people that ask others a thousand questions about themselves and their lives but never offer up information about my own!

So here are a few fun facts about me.

1) I am a voracious reader. I remember reading my first thousand page novel when I was about 11 years old.  For as long as I can remember reading has consistently been the biggest passion of my life and Barnes and Noble the most dangerous place to take a credit card!

2) I HATE cilantro. I hate cilantro as much as Rush Limbaugh hates Obama.

3) I went to my first concert when I was in 7th grade... it was- I can't believe I'm admitting this- Sir Mix A Lot! You know who I'm talking about:  I like big butts and I cannot lie! I don't know anyone else who can say that!! At least it wasn't Cisco right?!

4) I've had a zombie plan for years now. I'd tell you what it is but its strictly need to know! I will say it involves a compound, horses, and mountain ranges.

5) I am madly, desperately, head-over-heels in love with my best friend Devin Christopher Collins. We have been long distance the past two years because he is an active duty Marine. It has not been easy, but they have been the best two years of my life. And we have a whole lifetime of love ahead of us. I have never known a man so kind, so supportive, and so giving as Devin is to me. He is my angel, my best friend, my family.

This boy has my whole heart for my whole life. (And he's damn handsome too isn't he?)

6) I have literally been having dreams about the Mark II and III every night this week! I am saving my money for the upgrade. Does anyone have any comparisons between the two? I have quite a bit of time to make up my mind but would love some feedback!

PS Don't forget about my print give away! Remember to email me at callie.lindemann@gmail.com with your favorite photographer or photograph and why! I'll pick my favorite and the winner will get an original Callie Lee print!!

Snapped

I spent last weekend in Bishop, California. It is such a beautiful, raw, natural town on 395. Here are a couple snap shots I took while there. 

Ps Tonight I ordered a few extra sets of Impossible Color film. I'm addicted to how colorful and unpredictable they turn out! They are pricey but so lovely I just can't resist! 

Obsession

I am loving these prints from Society 6 by the artist Norman Duenas. My love/obsession for double exposure has spread to paintings (who knew that was even possible!).

Also, I have decided to do a give away for one of my prints! Send me an email to callie.lindemann@gmail.com with your favorite photographer or specific photo that inspires you and tell me why! I will pick my favorite and you will get a surprise Callie Lee original print!

<3 Callie Lee

Bed-ridden

Hello my lovelies :)

I am bedridden once again. Respiratory infections coupled with asthma always equals a recipe to the Urgent Care for me. Hopefully I'll be out and about by this weekend for a photo shoot. The weather has just been awful here every Saturday so keep your fingers crossed for me!

Meanwhile, I thought I would share with you my girl-crush on the American photographer Karrah Kobus. She was one of the first photographers I discovered that literally BLEW ME AWAY and changed the way I think about photography. Her work opened up so many internal creative processes in me that I want to put into practice this year. *Much easier said than done huh!

She portrays such raw emotion while always being beautiful. Her work can be chilling and wonderful and thought provoking and tender all at the same time. Her choice of color tones are always striking and complimentary, never distracting or overdone.

Did I mention she's absolutely stunning as well?

Okay, okay. I will stop going on about her and let you check out some of her work yourself.

It is one of my dreams one day to meet her. She is my mentor from far away. Definitely take a look at her work on Facebook or her flickr!

Are there any photographers you find yourself especially drawn to?

<3 Callie Lee